Our softball game ended in a tie last night, a tie. We are apparently allotted 1 hour to play our game. Score’s tied because we just blew another lead in the last inning again, and the grounds crew/upper deck owner decides he needs to “drag” the infield between our game and the next. Real smart guy. Ostrasize your biggest customers, shoot the cash cow. The two teams were this close to storming the moron and beating the bajeezez out of him and his stupid drag, but then we remembered it was two for one pitchers at the V bar so we left.
On to the V bar where challenge number two for the evening was proposed.
“I bet you 4 boys cant drink those 5 pitchers in front of you in 15 minutes! If you do, I’ll buy you a pitcher.” boasted the dirty regular. Shiiiit, no problem we respond, and the drink is on. Keep in mind it’s two for one pitchers so this is a grand prize of 3 dollars worth of beer after we’ve just consumed more than our fair share of alcohol in 15 minutes. More beer was the last thing we needed after that attempt; alas, we failed, shaming drinking softball teams everywhere.
To end the night we were visited by the ghost of softball future. A seriously intoxicated individual approached us, bitching about his sore balls (he just had them “snipped”). A sorry looking slurring SOB he was, and with a lot to say. He said: “I used to play softball for the V bar 15 years ago” – and he is still there. If I’m standing in his position 15 years from now, I’m going to shoot myself. Robbins (our Pitcher, but not the two for one kind) on the other hand said “shit yeah, that’s gonna be me some day”, and he was serious.
