adding insult to injury

The Proposal

So if you haven’t heard yet, Ashley and I got engaged last night. Everyone keeps asking for details, so here we go.


On Valentines Day this year, Ash decided to play a little joke on me. You see, the pressure has been building from all directions and many have joked that I would never propose. Everyone was saying she is going to have to be the one who makes the proposal. This set the perfect groundwork for her prank. She had raced home on her lunch break and staged a scene in our kitchen with a ring box placed amongst rose petals. She then called me with perfect timing as I was getting home on my lunch break. She gave me instructions to go look in the kitchen. I saw the setup and froze. Mind racing. “No. Way. Did she really do this? I thought we talked about how she wouldn’t propose because she didn’t want to be deprived of that moment?” Etc, etc, like I said, racing. “Open it,” she says with piles of excitement in her voice. Inside I find a note that says “Haha! Just kidding, go in the bathroom”. This sounds odd, but that’s where she put my real present. (incidentally a dog-poop scoop. Yeah, she’s a keeper.) She got me good.

We’ve talked a lot about when it would happen and how it would happen etc. I’d come to the conclusion that the only way I would surprise her is to just pop the question on some random day. Over the past few years, her friends would call and say things like “Christmas is coming up, do you think he’ll propose?” or “it’s arbor day do you think he’ll propose?”, you get the idea. Relentless. Constant. Every day, everything we did together became a day of suspicion. If I don’t answer my phone, “maybe he’s buying me a ring” would run through her head. I took the punishment, the digs, the Sunday Bridezilla marathons on the WE channel… all the while behind the scenes I’m saving my money for the ring. And later going through the arduous task of getting the ring made, made just right, shipped from New York. It’s hard to keep a secret, let alone a secret that big for that long when you’re asked daily when it’s going to happen.

The Payback Proposal

My plan was to return the favor, set the same scene, and make her sweat a little. I tore the house apart and found that exact same ring box she used on me. I picked up a dozen roses and placed the petals on the table, with the real ring inside her old junky ring box. I wrote a note that said “I’m NOT kidding!” and closed it inside, with the ring. She had just worked a 15 hr day. Thursday nights we have a ritual. When she is nearly home from work she’ll text me a message of “go see”. This is so I can tell Tucker to “go see” out the window and watch her drive in. By now, Tucker knows this, knows my text message ringtone, and now runs to the window to watch her drive in for every text I get. So, thanks to her traditional heads up, I knew when she would be home and had time to collect myself. I didn’t want to blurt out “RING” the second she walked the door.

“Hey babe, how was work” I mustered out, trying to hide my nerves. “Do you want to have a glass of wine with me?”. “No I’m tired” she replied – as I knew she would after the long day. She then walked around the corner into the kitchen and saw the setup. “If this is a f#*@ing joke it is not funny!!” she said, giving me the look. “It’s no joke,” I said. She was frozen, shaking, crying, hyperventilating… all around freaking out. She was too scared to open the box. So, I picked it up and said again “it’s not a joke”. I opened the box… she sees the “I’m NOT Kidding” note, but it’s still not sinking in. She’s just standing there, crying, putting her hands over her face. Blubbering. I then got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. I get nothing but sobs and oh my gods. No answer. So I press harder, “babe, have you got an answer?” “DUH!!!” she replies through the sobs. “That’s not reeeealy an answer.” I pressed again. “YES YES YES of course!!!” she finally blurted out. Tears and hugs ensue.

She was completely clueless, dumbfounded, and extremely happy. This was followed by a few priceless phone calls and text messages. I think her phone will need a new speaker from all the screams that were blasted out of it by her friends and family last night.

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I was able to give my random night proposal and got her back in the process. Thank you everyone for all the well wishes and it’s-about-time’s.