When my “friends” suggested we head to the Red Carpet to see the dueling pianos, I don’t know why I forgot that it was my birthday the day before, and they’d try to get me on stage so they could make an ass out of me.

They needed a booboo for the world famous yogi bear skit. I’m a poor sport so I threatened their lives if they put my name in, of course they did anyway. “Tom Conner” was called. Thank god for drunken penmanship or I would have been on stage – I don’t know who the hell this Tom Conner guy is.