adding insult to injury

New “Have You Met Tim” Champion

There’s a game my “friends” play when they go out to the bars with me. It’s called “Have you met Tim?” Basically they try to introduce me to anyone and everything with the single goal of embarrassing me as much as possible. Mentioning things like, “He really loves computers!” or “He’s got a website” are crowd favorites. This has been going on for years, and Ogre has been the raining champion since there was a women’s senior bowling team downtown. I was introduced to so many blue-hairs over a 20 minute period it would make your LARK tip over. Anyone every been rejected with “He’s cute, but younger than my grandson?” I end up spending the night making sure that no ones feelings are hurt, and convince them that my friends are crazy – which surprisingly isn’t very hard.

Josh’s record is quite pitiful by the games standards, but I don’t mind because he always picked hot girls to introduce me to (thanks :). But none of his attempts were ever able to dethrone Ogre. The first time Josh tried the game, he picked a girl, said the standard: “Have you met Tim”. Now I’m sure he was going for the angle that she was way out of my league and that’s where the embarrassment would ensue, but she responded with a hug and an oh my god I missed you Tim. Yup, knew that one already Josh. It’s been pretty much downhill for him from there, until now.

When we were tailgating this weekend before the Vikings game, Josh caught fire. There was a girl, we’ll call her Hilda. She was the female equivalent of the Vikings Mascot, only she was bigger and… shall we say mamorily gifted. After he talked her into giving me a hug (I nearly drowned) and ran through a few of the standard lines. She was on her way, but then came back a few minutes later with a business card, and an “If you’re interested, my personal email is on the back” – *wink wink*. You see, she was selling Viking garb and Josh got a card from their booth earlier, but there was no email address on his. I about fell over.

You should have been there Ozzy.