It was the first time in 3 years that my main college roommates were all together, but it didn’t take more than about 2 minutes to slip into the old routine. Rip on each other to no end, no holds barred. We kicked the evening (or early afternoon) off at my place, and then headed out on the town.
Being that I was the only single one in the group, of about 10, they decided that they needed to introduce me to any and all females within a 9 mile radius – wives, girlfriends, and sisters of my buddies joined in as well. How any of them have a significant other is beyond me. It was the most pathetic display of pickup lines I’ve ever seen, but it was funny as hell. I’d like to take a moment to apologize to the young waitress at Granite City who had to put up with the brunt of these efforts for a solid 45 minutes. She had a boyfriend, but did that slow them down? Of course not. She got boo’d by the entire crowd for slipping that information out. This was followed by a point counterpoint comparison of me and her boyfriend. Some of the outstanding lines used were: he’s loaded, he likes computers, he’s hot look at him, he wants you to bare is children, etc. To make sure she didn’t forget, they decided to write all of this down on a napkin including my name, number and lots of XOXOXOX’s. Keep in mind this was the first stop of the night. The average age in the group was about 25 – yeah we’re all “adults” here.
As the evening went on, we fit in some time honored and traditional shots including: tequila, lunch box, kentucky bluegrass, and california cocaine – not to mention enough beer to push the limits of the St. Cloud sewage treatments facility.
Yes, Gary’s Pizza was called.
All told the festivities went on for 14 hours plus; which paved a solid road toward another tradition – the sunday stupids. Typically after a night of drinking, we’d have a terrible time with complicated tasks such as annunciation, and forming complete or coherent sentences as our brains slowly recuperate.
It was great to see them all again, together, we had a blast.
did the waitress ever call you? you forgot to include your kind to animals.
wait a minute I think I’m being too nice here, you stupid pale skinned wrinkled man breasted butterpit licking grandpa’s pajama top wearing buying the hat of the national champion the week after they won to impress people more gay than Richard Simmon’s at Mardi Gras best friend to a squadron of computers scattered around the house overdrinking overeating oversweating overshitting OVERCOMPUTING allowing all of your friends to continue to have wet dreams about your mother including yourself house decorating Bob Vila wannabe idiot savant!
God I love Tim! Thanks for the weekend everyone
except Viehauser because he wanted to hook up with my sister!
July 21, 2003 — 10:26 am
See, no holds barred.
July 21, 2003 — 11:15 am
Oh, and no the waitress didn’t call me but her lawyer did. She has a restraining order against Josh, and so do all the little kids that were within 30 feet of his mouth at the restaurant. All he had to do was say earmuffs.
July 21, 2003 — 3:58 pm
hey cmon now
i was just talking to ozzy’s sis
July 21, 2003 — 8:15 pm
Yellow Bird says:
Chad your awesome. Tim, can I help it that your such a great catch. By the way at that point I don’t think anybody could have read my handwriting anyways.
July 22, 2003 — 7:44 am