If you’re from St. Cloud or more accurately a SCSU student, then you (and your Cholesterol level) are acutely familiar with Gary’s Pizza and the infamous Gary’s Special (that’s two cheese boats, a two-liter soda, and a large pizza for $12.25 for you non-locals)

Gary is the ultimate beer munchie quencher, and the origin of the freshman 15 (or 30). Gary is a true pusher not unlike your common drug dealer.

The first time you order a Gary’s Special, it will arrive in what seems like minutes, cooked to glorious perfection — but from then on, you’re hooked, and Gary knows it. When you call most Pizza establishments they will boast fast delivery, but not Gary – he knows you’ll wait. Call for a special and he’ll respond with “it’ll be there in 45 minutes to an hour.” It could be more, but you’ll be so happy to see those cheese boats (with dunkin’ sauce) that you wont care. He’s in complete control.

The only thing stopping Gary from world domination is the sobering factor – that is if he waits too long, giving us a chance to sober up and realize that each slice contains somewhere around 1,400 grams of fat and all the beer we just drank wont cancel them out. (Kristen has a perfect example of the sobering factor)

You see, Gary’s is one of the few places in this town that will deliver after the bars close, and for that he will always be a collegiate god. (Erberts & Gerberts is a story for another day)

I’m would say I’m in no way affiliated with Gary’s Pizza, cept I majored in the Gary’s Special my freshman year