Category: Girlfriend (page 1 of 1)

I went to Pearl Harbor with my girl last night. Mid-movie she leaned over and asked:

Her: “Why are they in Hawaii? Are they on vacation?”

Me: “It’s Pearl Harbor”

Her: “Yeah?”

Me: “Pearl Harbor is in Hawaii”

Her: “Oh, I had a bad history teacher”

Me: *nervously looks around to see if anyone heard* – “Don’t ask anymore questions in public.”

My roommate and I have this running challenge going called The Dumbest Girlfriend Contest.

It’s not as degrading as it sounds as the girls are well aware of the contest and eager to tell us of noteworthy events. Last week for example, Chad’s girlfriend came over and told us this story: (Names left unchanged to embarrass the guilty) ‘Kari was coming over to our apartment one evening and it seems she was listening to some rockin’ tunes in her car because when she got out she heard a beeping noise from her purse. She assumed it was her cell phone notifying her of a missed call or message received, but as she reaches into her purse to pull out her cell phone… she pulls out a huge cordless land line phone from her apartment. It’s a good 12 times the size of her cell phone. She’d thrown in into her purse by mistake. Apparently the beeping was her home phone looking for the base station… 7 miles away. The display read: “Base station out of range”.

Do Corn Dogs take two hours to cook? They do if your chef of a girlfriend cant remember to turn on the oven.

She checked the dogs after about 35 minutes in the oven (corndogs take 9 minutes from frozen mind you), and laughed at her mistake. She’d left the oven off. Now after that, you’d think that she would try extra hard to make sure the oven was on, no you’d be wrong. She merely turned the temp up a little to help speed things up (it was at 200 before). Apparently it’s easy to ignore the fact that no heat is coming out of the oven.

Fast-forward 45 minutes, stove still cold, corn dogs, still frozen.

Ooohh, you have to turn the oven to bake and see the little red light come on, not just set the temperature above freezing.

I’m hungry.

Update:Two years later, she still hasn’t learned how to use an oven. She managed to first forget to turn on a burner to boil water. Yes, I realize that boiling water is exhaustingly complicated?!! 30 minutes into it she realized that the burner was off. She then turned on the wrong one and destroyed her mom’s fancy burner covers.