I was at lunch today, eating my number 4 at Wendy’s with my mom, when I simply wanted to take a sip of coke. The top shot off the non-supersized cup. What happened next of course is my powerful grip crushed the cup and the contents all poured onto my lap. Tickets for the gun show are still available by the way.
Fast forward a few hours to dinner, and I ended up dumping red sauce on my shirt. Obviously I decided against drinking my cool-aid in the living room.
Update: I just stepped in a pool of dog pee. I’m now waiting for a piece of poo to come flying through the air. Maybe I should wear pull-ups and a bib to work tomorrow.