“CIA searching out technologies to boost national security” says The Mercury News.

I have a suggestion. We should put “This country is protected by my two best friends, Smith and Wesson.” on all border signs.

Or, maybe we could mix it up by making president Bush wear T-shirts rather than his usual suit an power tie that read, “You can have our freedom when you pull my cold dead fingers off it.” (mullet optional) That’s just priceless.

To top it all off, the presidential motorcade limo’s should have those super cool “Piss on Bin Laden” stickers on the back window. I’m a genius. Homeland security department members feel free to contact me by email, I’m sure I could come up with some more great ideas.