Bachelorette Party Death Squad

The girls of St. Cloud have got the bachelorette party down to a science. It seems to have become of a business venture than a celebratory event.

We were in the Red Carpet on Saturday when the Red Room was breached by a SWAT team of girls toting beads, sucker bouquets, and a decked out bride with roughly 25,000 life savers stapled to her specially designed suck for a buck vest. The girls fanned out there assault, propositioning – no demanding – every breathing male in the room to pay for beads, and a dollar to bite off a lifesaver from the vest, and at least one of them to give up their underwear. When this parasitic pack had exhausted the room, cleaning out every poor saps last dollar – and some guys boxers – a whistle blows, they regroup, and head to the next room.

The operation would make any military general, or the IRS, proud. If I had to guess these girls could easily pull in $500 to $1,000 per night. I’m sure half of the “Brides” that came through that night were not even getting married. We don’t stand a chance.