My old driver, TaylorMade 320Ti was sliding out the hosel and had lost some distance after I got it repaired (see also: getting old, wussy excuses). Besides (he says self justifyingly) I haven’t owned a 3 wood since high school, so I figured I was due for both. The deal was all too tempting. I had planed on getting the new 2009 Burner after reading good reviews and seeing the aforementioned deal, but I was all over the screen on the simulator when I tested it out.

The Austad’s salesman suggested the Cleveland and I saw much better results (same price, same free club deal). Time will tell if the simulator results apply in the real world.

Moving on. For my birthday early last winter I got a new putter. It’s a Taylor Made Rosa Daytona 34″.

The final purchase of the 2008 – 2009 off season was a steal on ebay. It’s a Callaway / Grey Goose golf bag. Though, now that I’m playing it, everyone seems to think I’m a raging alcoholic rather than a player good enough to get a sponsor.

“Sheesh, how many bottles you have to drink to get that thing?”

And now, for my annual summary of my golfing accomplishments: I put my clubs in my truck — just in case. This concludes my summary.

I look up and ask, “Did it break”? To which she quickly replied “What? Break? No, go just go ahead and hit…” with a look of guilt so obvious you’d think she never told a lie in her life. Her follow through colided with a the steal bar on the golf cart that holds the roof in place. The club didn’t have a chance.

I think it’s funny because I was thinking just one hole earlier how much power she was starting to get out of her swings. Apparently, power enough to snap a graphite shaft against a golf cart like a twig.

The course played a bit longer after all the rain we received last week and they had just aerated the first cut of fringe on the greens but other than that the course was great considering. I literally stuck my approach shot from 118 yards on the second hole (pictured), no bounce, no back spin, no roll, just a big ole hole and the ball sitting in it.

Yes, I missed the 6 footer for bird.

[photographer credit: JH]

As you may or may not know, Minnesota has more golf courses per capita than any other state in the U.S.. Grand View, our destination, is a resort in the Brainerd Lakes area of central Minnesota. Six of us bought a stake in the Michael Jordan sweet of Grand View for three days and two nights of golf and well, you’ll see. It’s a pad worthy of a spot on MTV’s Cribs complete with Pool table, Foosball table, 60 inch TV, Fireplace, Granite counter tops, and one of those multi-headed showers – not to mention the big pimpin’ grill outside!

The lakes area is chock full of courses and we were lucky enough to get to play a couple of the best. The first day we hit up my favorite of the trip for me, The Preserve. The course was in amazing condition and set up for a tournament the upcoming weekend. That means long rough, wet fairways, and fast greens. We played the first round for points, 10 bucks a piece, winner take all.

Here’s the breakdown for scoring.

Mac won the dough in what was mostly a blowout. Damn scratch golfers.

That night we grilled some steaks and corn on the cob before a round of poker. Mac won the poker too in a sweep for the day’s festivities. The first day was a Monday so the nightlife was a bit dismal. We passed the time with an over-the-top arm wrestling challenge. The sober bar tender dominated this event, but only after everyone else was too tired to have any gunpowder left in the guns – and did I mention he was sober. Yeah, cheater.

Upon returning home there was a steak fight followed by a wrestling challenge. I’ll just let the video describe the rest of this evening.

The following day there were a few sore people, but I’ve no idea why. We played the Deacons that day. The game was a team best ball, and thankfully I was on Mac’s team cause he shot like 4 over himself. I was less impressed by this course and much preferred

The day included a round of golf at Izaty’s, beach volley ball, a chill in the pool, fear factor, a dvd-slideshow viewing, dinner on the balcanoy, Sunshine Behavior playing for an hour, a visit to the Bay View street dance, and finally a keg party at a classmates

It was a really great time.

I woke up Sunday morning with what I thought was a really runny nose, that was until I opened my eyes an realized I was bleeding all over myself. The rock dust in the sinuses must have dried me all out. I can only remember getting two or three nose bleeds in my entire life, and this one was quite bad comparatively. Calm down everyone; you can relax because I didn’t even pass out from the blood (shock!). It soaked all through my comforter, sheets, pillow case, mattress pad and onto the mattress. It was a mess, but oxy-booster took care of it. I’m sure with all that blood loss I need to get some protein in me, so of course I grilled some steak.

I think next time I rock out, I’ll sleep with a humidifier on high.