And now for a joke that’s funny to exactly 10 people.

“Did I fucking say anything about any fucking quesadillas?”

Here’s my attempt at the story behind the photo. You should know that there is no way of telling it without ending with “You kinda had to be there”.

Ok, so it’s day one of the softball season and we’re going go to drink some beer afterward because, well, that’s what you do after softball. Our team is sponsored by local watering hole called Jimmy’s – so naturally we always go there after the game. V had to run an errand and then he was going to meet us. The shirts all say Jimmy’s on the front, every one said things like “going to Jimmy’s”, “see you at Jimmy’s” etc, but V thought we all went to Howies. If you’re wondering why Howies, because as you know Howies in a entirely different town – believe me, we all wondered the very same thing. So he’s wondering around Howies, alone, for like 10 minutes, thinking we’re playing a trick on him. He finally gives up the search and calls Noel. Keep in mind by this point he’s starving. He asks Noel to order him a burger so it’s ready for him when he actually makes it to Jimmy’s, and Noel replies: “We’ve got some extra Quesadillas here if you want some”. Nice enough gesture, but V responds with the now infamous:
“Did I fucking say anything about any fucking quesadillas?”

We cant make it 20 minutes into a game with out some sort of quesadilla joke.

See, I told you ya had to be there.

If you watched the Twins game last night, you know about “The Hit”. Not a base hit or a home run, but the full speed linebacker hurt that Hunter laid down on the White Sox catcher on a tag up run home. They will be playing that highlight for years to come. It takes a lot to get ESPN to talk about the small market Twins, but that hit got front page.

Apparently the Sox fans weren’t too happy about the play. I can’t imagine why? Torii only went about 3 feet out of his way and then, Schpladow! No big deal.

When Hunter went to the on-deck circle to bat in top of the ninth, fans showered him with taunts and heckling. One fan took it too far, allegedly threatening Hunter’s life, and sparked a brief heated exchange before the fan was escorted away by security.

“When I heard ‘I’ll kill you,’ I lost it,” Hunter said. “Don’t talk about it in front of these kids. … Somebody should have gotten him out of there a long time ago.

“The guy was reaching over … I was hoping he’d come on the field so I could whup his ass. I can’t go in the stands, but if you come on the field, that’s a free ass whupping. That’s stupid, I’ve got a bat in my hands.”

If I had boatloads of cash, I think I’d buy the new Motorola V3 “Razor” Phone.

I’m stuck. Google is down and and I don’t know how to find anything on the internet without it.

Think Armstrong is juiced? Did you forget that he has a super mutant heart.

In Japan you can watch TV on your cell phones, but we’re just getting the hang of text messaging here in the states.

Refurbished iPod 10GB for $169, 30GB for $279

Yes Mom, I was wearing shorts at softball again.

Yes Mom, I should know better.

Yes Mom, I washed it out with soap.

Yes Mom, I used a washcloth.

Yes Mom, I put peroxide on it. (^%$%$@#$%#%)

Yes Mom, we got smoked regardless of bodily injury.
 
Update: I think it’s healing…

Update 2:I think V’s wound is a bit worse. Check out this puss pile:

Man that’s Nasty. Enjoy your lunch.

Last week I had Friday off because we were going to road trip to KC to watch the Twins and visit some friends. The plans fell though, but I ended up having a blast anyway. Thursday I went out with some friend to see G.B Leighton. It was a pretty good show and a drama-less night – which is nice.

G.B Seems to be the mecca location for bachelorette parties. This is probably because he tends to make serious fun of all of them. Sidenote: What’s the deal with the new requirement that all bride-to-be’s must carry one or many giant inflatable, uhh, male appendages? I guess guys don’t feel the need to match the ladies on this tradition because they’ll end up somewhere where they’ll see the real thing anyway – which I’m told is much better than inflatable.

And were back… The next day I went down to a friends place in Minneapolis, who has a swank apartment overlooking the Walker Art Center. We spent the day on the deck and then headed down to another even more swank apartment overlooking the Hennepin Block Party. From there we got to see Martin Zellar and the Bodeans after dinner at Kiernan’s Bar where I ran into Ozzy’s sister.

Once the concerts were over we hit the usual warehouse district bars and played big buck hunter. What? Isn’t’ that was everyone else does downtown?

We went down to my bro’s house for a little poker tournament and a little beer. To get things started we went to eat at one of the local dive bar’s and enjoy the hospitality – “Lindy Rig”, our waitress, was fantastic.

V was poker a machine. He built a fortress of chips to hide behind and ended up winning the first game – though a significant portion of his winnings went toward pizza for everyone. By winning, with the amount of poker experience he has, he brought out some sneering comments from the self proclaimed poker experts. One sneered “how come the worst player here won?” V played, well, erratic. He’d play an eight deuce off-suit like it was pocket aces — hell he played every hand like he had pocket aces. He pulled off some smooth moves. “damn I lost… oh wait, I made a strait! Someone get me another missile!”

I ended up taking third and second and probably bluffed more times in those few hours than I ever have in my entire life. My brother on the other-hand was the true rookie when it came to the poker face.

Jim: “Check to you slim”
B: “uhhhh, I fold”
Everyone: “You can keep your crap cards for free bro, it’s check to you.”
B: “Oh”.

He’d then proceed to flop two pair or something crazy and smoke us all – as long as he wasn’t shuffling.

Um, then the sun came up and everyone went home.

The End.

Anyone catch the O.A.R post title reference?